new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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