I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
