U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Randomize
