Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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