a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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