dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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