So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
