Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
