I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize