I CAN MOONWALK!
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
