its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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