you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
hell yes lets make some ravioli
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
