Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
