this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
