I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
honey bunches of taint.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
