This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
