why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
