Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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