i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
