my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize