Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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