I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i just had sex bonerless
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
