Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
