I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
