I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Randomize
