Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
