I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
