He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So many bounce houses so little time
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
