i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
