no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
