I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
