I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
