Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
