Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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