Is it normal to miss your booty call?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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