Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm really into asian looking animals
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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