dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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