Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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