i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
