and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Floor bacon is actually really good
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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