i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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