Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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