smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
never play flip cup with pint glasses
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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