He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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