I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
