Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i need some magic done to my vagina
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
