my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Damn victory sex feels great
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize