i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
