Whoa Z and x make the same sound
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
