Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
