I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
