You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
