bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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