I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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