i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
