i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
