He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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