I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
