tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
