I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
