I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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